Sunday, August 30, 2009

You're How Old Now?!

In Honor of My Daughter's 25th Birthday

Random things I learned after becoming a mom:

---Planning your time is irrelevant…nothing will happen when you think it will, including the birth. The best memories tend to be made when you were planning to do something else anyway.

---Sometimes kids need to stay home from school and eat ice cream in bed watching TV with Mom.

---Naps are gifts from God. Do not ignore God. Accept the gifts.

---Babysitters are also gifts from God. Except for the one we found sunbathing topless in the back yard.

---Boredom can be a good thing. Kids find their unique creativity when they’re bored. It can be messy and involve mud.

---3-year-olds should not be trusted with scissors if anyone in the room has long hair.

---Shoe fetishes appear at a surprisingly young age.

---Little kids like to put things up their noses. Usually on a Saturday night. When the ER is full.

---You can be so busy that your child can break her arm and you’ll forget to tell your husband about it….he’s a little surprised when he gets home from work that day. So he starts calling you several times a day from work just to ask what’s new. For the next 25 years and counting…

---You might be so busy that you’ll go trick-or-treating with child #1 and forget to take child #2 who is in his costume in his crib….

---Remember this: no airplane travel before age 4, at least. Also, if the pediatrician gives you some knock-out drug for the flight, know that she might have an inverse reaction and go ballistic for hours.

---Buy a great Christmas stocking for your baby, because if you get a 99 cent one at the drug store at the last minute because you think it doesn't matter the first year, well, your child will want the very same stocking every year for the rest of her life, and you’ll never get to have those neat needlepoint ones with their names on them.

---The child who loves liverwurst and hot dogs will be a strict vegetarian by the time she’s in junior high.

---Before letting your child blow on a dandelion, make sure he knows the difference between inhale and exhale.

---Kids aren’t real wild about duck hunting.

---Some children don’t understand make-believe tea parties and just think Grandma’s off her rocker.

---Great conversations happen when you tuck them in at night if you lie down with them…

---However old they are, that is the best age! It’s the greatest adventure of my life.


  1. Oh Jeannette - this is just presious, and I laughed so hard at a few of your entries!! Thnak you so much! Happy Birthday to Elise!

  2. Oops, I was chuckling so hard that I made too many typos - it's precious!! Thank you so much!

  3. Thanks, Andrea. Can you believe you and I have grown kids now? Sheesh. Thanks for your comments!